A forest with thick plantation, which filtered almost all the sunlight before it hit me. As the light started to dip at a quick pace, a cover of moist wind swept the field, giving me enough chills down my spine. Unknown to me was the way forward. Each stride I take could either bring me closer to my objective or would push me into the abyss. I was wondering, if I really chose to play this game? Even before I could answer if I was, yet another question popped up, am I equipped with required ammunition to fire all my cylinders. It was a situation where I'm expected to fight unknown and unseen foe. Mostly those which were not under my control. Rule of any game is to let the ball (thrown at you) cross a particular line in given time on the ground. Here I only had the ground where I was fighting . Neither did I have the ball nor could I see the line. It is one of those times where everything around you is mystical and perplexing. I had to figure out who's throwing the ball and from where. And then to decide for myself where the line is.
Heart pounding with unknown rush of emotions and it was little over 15 minutes that I closed my eyes to witness the dense forest that I was thrown into. I opened my eyes to a shady evening when I sat alone on the solitary bench with birds chipping on the tree that umbrellaed the bench. I realized a young couple next me having fun time and boys playing some tireless soccer right in front of me. Some one jogging past me and few oldies walking along the path intense with some discussion. I felt if they too were experiencing a raging war inside them, just like the one I did. I was wondering if they too were lost inside a dense forest just like me not knowing which stride to take. Wondered if they too could experience the unknown power weighing them down on their shoulders. I felt weak from within. Not because I was treated with intense pain, but because I had no control on anything that was happening. All I could do is to wait and watch the game. I also started to realize the hopelessness of not having enough power to know my enemy. The basic definition of a fight is to tackle and win over something which is known to you. But, here I'm just pulling the string, clutching the bow and firing the arrow in all 360 degrees.
Rather than finding a way out, I was probably looking for someone to bail me out. Probably for someone to hold my hand and hover me into comfort. May be for someone who would look into the future and tell me when I would face this faceless enemy. The most cruel one ever.
Just then came that one ring on my mobile. A brief 5 minute talk which soothed every hot nerve inside me. By no means it was that sort of a help which I expected. No, the person has not guided me out of the space I'm stuck. Neither did she help me try harder. Nor did the person on the other side of the phone call fight on my behalf. Only thing I was told is that this is a phase everyone passed through, a battle everyone face and a struggle which only makes everyone tougher. Only thing you have to do is to sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Yes that show where you are the protagonist. I realized, sometimes all you need is someone saying," I have gone through all this, I came out successfully and it is just a phase ". It tells you that you are not the first one, neither would you be the last fighting such unorthodox battle within. "If someone could do it why not you..?" is the medicine for the day. Oldies walking past me already went through and those soccer played would definitely go through.
When a power you cant see and circumstances you can't control weigh you down, just remember it happens. Patience is a virtue that you need to bring out of your armory, not anxiety.
The ball would be thrown at you and you would strike it past the line. Just be patient.
The ball would be thrown at you and you would strike it past the line. Just be patient.
So thank you. And I'm indebted to you.
Sakethursforever
